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All Comments

I want to be more dominant with my boyfriend, we both like BDSM? [Mature]?
I want to have a little fun. What are small things I can do to drive him wild?
He's such a tease! I want to make him *** so hard he cries. How can I manage that?
First of all, BSDM is not just "a little fun". There is a whole lot of reading up you have to do so that you understand the theory behind it, and also how to practice it safely and sanely.

Here is a good place to start:

domsubfriends.com/1home.shtml

Read the articles in the Library and Resources sections.

Here are some other sites you MUST read:

www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2008/06/…
www.infomiss.com/Content/safe_bon…
www.bondara.co.uk/sex-toy-guides/…
www.sadomechanix.dk/de-ti-bud-gb.…

Also, read up on BDSM and related topics on Wikipedia.

The keys to successful "kinky sex" are factual knowledge, completely honest communication between the partners, complete trust, and SAFETY. Read up A LOT and discuss at length before wandering into these waters, and maximum mutual fun will be assured.

You and your partner should read and re-read these articles until you have them learned by heart. BDSM is ONLY for people who know what they are doing. ESPECIALLY the bondage part, where stupid mistakes can result in serious injury or death.

As for mild things that do not present a safety risk, try tickle torture, foot service, spanking, name calling, "dog training", "feminization", writing on the body with a marker, humiliation shows like striptease, costume play, and role playing games like Boot Camp Sergeant. There are more things, of course, but they cannot be mentioned in this forum.

Be careful about experimenting with humiliation and dom/sub role playing. First of all, people with fetishes also tend to have taboos as well. Breaking a taboo can ruin the whole experience in an instant.

For example, I get immediately turned off if a dom calls me any names that refer to females or animals, such as dog, pig, hoe, the B word for female dog, etc. Feminization and dog training are naturally flat out of the question as far as I am concerned.

BDSM works best when you carefully, honestly and thoroughly discuss what you intend to do with your partner ahead of time. "Surprises" should happen only within a strictly delimited "safe zone". Knowing where the limits of that zone lie in your partners mind is crucial for providing him and yourself with maximum pleasure.

Hope this all helps.

Good luck!
Is BDSM considered a "mature" activity?
I realize it is...what I mean is that do only people who are older than like 30 like it? I'm a teenager and I don't know anyone my age who's into it.
Im sick of white girls asking me to pi.ss on them.

No black girl has ever asked for that
Where can i find a mature lesbian to share my first lesbo experience with near the lapeer michigan area?
No older then 45 and must b fit and in shape. Not looking for a relationship just some fun. Just once unless you do what i like then we can b friends. Im into a little bdsm. And would like to video tape.
Try fetish sites like Fetlife.com or Collarme.com You can search for women in your area that may share interests with you. It perhaps sounds like you'd appreciate being led into this by a Domme that is willing to meet for play dates and guide you into this lifestyle. At any rate, when you join FL, also join 'seek' or 'classified' groups in your area and advertise yourself. You can also search for munch and get togethers in your area. That would be a great way to find friends and perhaps a mentor. I hope you find what you're looking for!
BDSM and sexuality help, is it strange that I have these thoughts? Long question?
I'm not even near 17 years old, but I have I feel like a 35 year old trapped in a teenager's body. I'm much more mature than other girls my age, I don't like to go to parties and get drunk just for the sake of it. I'd rather sit down with a glass of whisky near a fire and read a book. I'm a virgin and I have never even been in a relationship with someone but I'm really confused about my sexuality. I find a woman's back and neck quite beautiful and I appreciate erotic artwork (Helmut Newton, John Willie) and at the same time I always have a constant longing to be a in a BDSM relationship with a man as a submissive. Am I bisexual? and is it strange having these thoughts when I'm not even near 17 years old?

I need serious answers. Thank you.
Claudia,

At 17 you have your whole life to explore your desires and your sexuality. You do not have to (and you haven't -- good for you) rush into anything. If you want to experience what love is like with a girl, then by all means do so. If you want to feel what love is like with a boy, then, again, do so.

You have the time to try and experience life in a "vanilla" setting. or you may find that the BDSM lifestyle is something that appeals to you even more. The only way you will find out is to try it.

Also realize that people can change. you might find that you like the thrill of a bdsm relationship now, but in a year or two you might wish to settle down in something more sedate.

What is good is that you have these thoughts and you have these ideas, and you are open to all these possibilities and are not being trained to follow one narrow path. Keep your eyes open and be (at least for now) TRY-Sexual.

k
Friends fiance got her into hardcore BDSM and is taking advantage big time?
My good friend who has just turned 21 is getting married to a man shes been dating for a year and he is 40 years old. He is one of her friend's dad and she met him through her. At first I thought he was a nice guy but after all the stuff she tells me about him, hes a major creep and is taking advantage of her from what it looks like. She lost her virginity to him and never been in a real relationship so im sure he knows how she is. He has gotten her into bdsm lifestyle and she says he ties her up and beats her with a whip b/c hes a Sadist... She says when she tries to move he will just hit her harder and make more marks and bruises. He also convinced her to let him sleep with other girls because it's "kinky" and he told her it will teach her to be more submissive. Its not "kinky" its cheating! He just wants a gullible girl to walk all over and be able to do anything he wants. And she's just going along with it b/c she doesn't know any better, her doctor says she has the mind of a 15 yr old so she's not as mature as she should be. Her parents think hes the nicest guy ever but they don't know how he really is. Their wedding is in two months, what should I do? How do you think their marriage will be in a couple years? Do you think it can work out?
Wow...that really sucks. It must be really hard to watch your friend go through that. Unfortunately, though, you can't make her listen to you. The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel - maybe even show her this question? Perhaps seeing that other people agree with you and feel the same way about it will help her to see reason.

She might get mad at you now, but later, after she's matured and realizes she's been under this pervert's control, she'll change her tune.
Do you know any good BDSM yaoi?
i like yaoi with "toys", bondage, and where the uke is really innocent and stuff and the seme is more "mature".
i have read quite a few and now i cant find any more... help?
Mizukami Shin's work
An honest (but mature) question?
I have seen some BDSM stuff in mags and movies, and wow! It works for me. We talked about it, and the lady is all for it. I think it would be extremely exhilarating for both of us. But I wondered, too. It seems like crossing into that might be a point of no return of sorts, like there could only be arousal if we do this sort of stuff. Are these concerns founded? Is it possible to have 'regular' sex and enjoy it as much once getting involved with BDSM?
WOW!! All I can say is sometimes I like to F@#K and sometimes I like to be made love to, either way I get "off"....so it will all depend on the mood that you are in, just keep switching things up and make it amazing!!
Paypal question - frozen account?
Paypal froze my account after a month of doing business. They said I was in violation of their terms of use policies (I sell/produce adult bdsm videos)regarding Mature Content, which is not allowed. However, I searched PayPal shops and found at least one shop that sells adult videos and a few that cater to fetishwear (like adult baby/sissy clothing, etc). They froze my account and said I cannot get my money for 180 days. How can this be legal? There was no fraud involved or anything like that. What can I do to get my money?
PayPal is notorious for nasty dealing with sellers' accounts. While you can sue them, it has to be in a place where they are "doing business" and the court has jurisdiction.

They will probably not defend a lawsuit and give you your money right away if you sue. Small Claims Court is your friend.

You can share experience and get advice on any of the "paypal sucks" web sites and forums.
(NC-17) How do you feel about sadomasochism?
This question isn't about race at all. I just think this group is mature and I generally agree with your opinions. On with the question:

I think I am a masochist. The only person I've told (a very close friend) said I need therapy. Is this healthy? I just don't know what to think.

More specifically: I enjoy that I have no control during a sexual act. Bound and spanked, but I don't ENJOY the pain. If I must endure pain, I will gladly, but only because it makes the person in power pleased.

It's not like I inflict pain on myself for pleasure.

I recently started a relationship with someone and we made things clear what we were looking for in a relationship (BDSM). He knows I'm new to this and we're taking things slowly. I need to trust him, and I don't yet. I want to be sure that this person isn't just a woman-beater and abuser.

Should I abandon all inner-feelings and go for a vanilla relationship, for risk of being in an abusive relationship? I think BDSM is one of the most misunderstood fetishes.

Advice?

Please, be serious. I am.
You have to do what makes you happy and a lot of people are into that stuff and most "woman-beaters" aren't really into it because it is about consent and it has all the fetish gear that goes with it. Men who just wanna hit women will do it without all the equipment. This question would even be asked if the situation were reversed because we don't think of women as "boyfriend beaters" so look at it like that.
Is it a sin to lust after your own wife?
I know it's a sin to lust after other women. But is it a sin to lust after your own wife? After almost 8 years I am still VERY attracted to my wife. I think about having sex with her more often than not. Sometimes the sex I think about can be a big "rougher" than other times (I'm not talking about to the degree of S&M or BDSM or submission stuff or anything like that...total turn off) but for the most part, it's just plain old conventional sex that I think about. On one hand, I think that lust is wrong no matter how you slice it. But on the other hand, she's MY wife, nobody else's. Sex is for procreation but doesn't lust play a role? How am I supposed to get it up if I'm not attracted to her or actually want to do the deed? Doesn't lust have something to do with the need to "unite" with my wife?

Thanks in advance for the answers and, please, no answers from guys that live their mom's basement, are in their boxers all day, live on hot pockets and still think "That's what she said" jokes are "cool." Let's keep it adult and mature.
Na man!!!
It is not a sin to feel that way about your wife! In fact the whole book of Song Of Solomon is a perfect case for this! You wanna here some crazy desires... read that book! God has placed sexual desires in our life for a reason and that reason is to act on them between a husband and wife. Now it does become a sin when we abuse these sexual desire and lust after women other than our wives but there is nothing wrong with being completely crazy sexually active with your wife. I'm going to go back to my Song of Solomon point...
I put a link in my resources to Song of Solomon 7:1-9... If these few versus doesn't just prove my point then you need some new glasses. I'm telling you Song of Solomon has some intense stuff. But once again those desires and actions are to be saved for a husband and wife! Have fun!!! lol

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